a bit of newness...

FINALLY. sinking back in. the weather has begun to cool. thats helpful. and the standing up of friends that seem ready (after so much time) to stand up and deepen our relationships. i guess the scare is in them that im leaving... thats good, right? i mean, it is so great that i have friends that are BECOMING FRIENDS as they deepen. ooh, i dont know if that makes sense. we're changing levels. and its wonderful to find that as we get deeper, the friends i picked (that picked me?) are wonderful. that there is only an exciting unfurling of tales and emotions as we work at this whole relationship thing. the other night, i sat with one of my private students in her car (she drove me from school to the train station) and she told me about all of the pain in her life. her mom is crazy and is an alchoholic and tried to kill my friends husband because they decided they were going to divorce in the near future. there are 3 kids involved (all of which are my students) and this is hard for everyone involved. its hard to point a finger on where its all gone wrong because its been ongoing for the past 6 years or so. wow. so in her hand, she held the dark dirty, something hard HARD to do here in Japanese culture, and held it out for me--completely vulnerable. and i took it. with joy. and have been praying for her... and feel like more of my heart is coming alive. i have a freedom to love her. and that has been so new and exciting. there are other stories like this that make my heart soar. its crazy wonderful. im so sad it took this long and this circumstance for people to realize that they must act on their relationship or, well, give up--BUT, im glad that they've learned through our acquaintence... or superficial relationship... that i try to be a safe place to go to. so, im sinking back in here, and am beginning to look at my time left as special... and skunai. not much. not much for all of the things i want to do with the people i am finding i LOVE. and that, my friends, is REFRESHING BEYOND BELIEF. oh, if only i had more words...