12.17.2008

Sayonara desu.

goodbyes are HARD. especially when you know they're forever. this leaving is ripping my insides and showing me whats important. my heart is struggling, but still somehow, overflowing. i am blessed. so many people love me... and it is because we took the time to know and care one another. tears. lots of them. my little kids giving me gifts of songs about toys and Totoro and being friends forever. christmas lights and something to do every waking moment to make use of my time.

once upon a time, i didnt really have any friends here. but oddly enough, i no longer remember that! and now i am grieving japan. i will miss her. i will miss waking up every morning and saying hello to Mt. Fuji out my window. i will miss the twinkling city skyline and the respective bows. i will miss this world full of giggles... yes, it will be hard to go.

my adult students at one of my schools totally made me cry. when we said goodbye for the last time, Uchiyama san, my oldest student (a grandma) started crying. that broke me. and we all joined in like some 4 part harmony only God could hear and understand. these groanings are so very intense.

then, i finished my favorite school yesterday. so many parties--it was really special. i had a lot of strange pain there, with those teachers, but all is finally healed! i think everything is fixed; and that is HAPPY. how special it all has been. in saying these goodbyes, i am learning that i made a difference. the girl that shadowed me all night, even when her parents wanted to go--that was because she has learned the face of love. the last laughs bring me joy because i know that my life will continue in the way the Lord wants it to...

now, i must write my christmas sermon. i have NOT been able to focus on it at all this week with everything else going on... i hope to finish it now that its LAST MINUTE for my translator! hahaha

peace to you...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i am crying for you a little and at the same time soooooo overjoyed for you. Alina I am so glad for you for this experience. I love you.

that girl, alina said...

you are too precious, friend. thank you for caring so deeply. you humble me so much...